Thursday, May 20, 2010

Diapers That Don't Leak

My husband Kevin used to perform as a magician. Actually, he could still do it, but he's a little out of practice. When Callie, my first-born, was just a few weeks old, Kevin was asked to perform at a church's Valentine's banquet, so I decided that Callie and I would accompany him. After a nice meal, everyone settled into their seats to watch Kevin's show. I took baby Callie out of her carrier and placed her in my lap so that she could see her Daddy amazing everyone.

Several minutes into the show, I felt something really warm spreading on my lap underneath Callie's hiney. I closed my eyes in that "Oh no" kind of way and reluctantly glanced down to assess the damage. I gently lifted Callie up, hoping to see that she had merely peed on me.

But no such luck.

There was a greenish-brown, watery mess of a substance that basically covered both of my thighs as well as Callie's legs and back. There may have been some in the diaper, too.

Did I mention that Kevin was in the midst of his performance? And that Callie and I were sitting all the way across the room from an exit? And that I knew no one to ask for help?

So I endured it. I sat there covered in nastiness but with a proud smile on my face until my husband finished his performance. But as soon as he returned to his seat, I informed him that we had to split, because as a brand new Mama, I was only half-way prepared for this type of emergency: I had a change of clothes for the baby but no change of clothes for the Mama.

I don't know whose poor baby this is in the picture, but I definitely know the experience. Yeah, I don't really miss that part of having babies.

Question for you: What was your baby's worst leaky diaper experience?


laurie said...

First, that picture is disgusting and the story hilarious. The same thing happened to me with Antonio except I was thankfully in his home and not in public.

The bad part was that the poop puddled between my legs and started going everywhere when I tried to get up. Thankfully, his parents were home, so I called for their help. They took him while I went to my car to get my yoga clothes which I had to wear while my jeans were in the wash. It was gross but hilarious.

Missy Nettles said...

This happened to me a couple of months ago at my Bible study. Just this year they started allowing babies to come, but they stay in the class with Mama. We were discussing the lesson, when Jack let out (what I thought was) some gas. We chuckled, and I said, "excuse him" with a smile. And then my friend was like, "Um...Missy, it's leaking out of his diaper." And so it was, all down his leg and all over my pants! I quickly took him to the next room and (thankfully!) two of my friends in the class came to my rescue. It took all 3 of us and the entire pack of wipes in the diaper bag to get him cleaned up! Unfortunately, I had to get my other two kids out of their classes and go home because I smelled like poop!

Carrie Bevell Partridge said...

And people say motherhood isn't glamorous.